Draft 3 and 4

Do not get your hopes up I am still weighing my options vis a vis the head having an abrupt meeting with my desk.

However i promised the scripts so here they are, now I was actually relatively happy with these scripts I gave version 2 to my tutor and my cinematographer as well as a few other people and these two scripts are the refinement of their idea’s.

Firstly the opening, finally thanks to Matt I am starting to get an idea for how the opening should go to give a little suspense with an opening kill before the more mundane opening scenes. I have to admit I am partial to the idea mainly cause I am thinking something like Halloween and Friday 13th or Scream where they like to do a dramatic drawn out kill to instil that sense of dread for the rest of the film. However I still want to link it to Japan in some ways so the inspiration is a mix of Friday 13th and Grudge to make it borderline uncomfortable to watch …. well maybe not that far… but it is the sort of mood im in these past few days.

Secondly thanks to Will my cinematographer he helped me with some of the dialogue that he thought still did not match the setting. This I believe was needed as while I had done better I am still not practices at writing a mixture of dialogue types. For example I believe we cut out 3 different times someone said “Peace” as a method of saying goodbye. I now understand that is more localised to me than everyone in Birmingham.

Finally the big one was the changes to the female characters most people kept saying the same thing, that they wanted to know more about the villain and the other girl character. I was of the mind it was not necessary until once again Matt drove it home with that the read as more plot drivers that actual characters. Now let me make this clear i believe that sometimes it is necessary to have the plot driven by events you write in…. HOWEVER I have made such a big deal about wanting this to be “realistic” with “believable” characters. That is was SICK of horror movie characters being borderline moronic at times… So when Matt told me that they did not feel like characters I knew that things had to change otherwise I am being quite the hypocrite.